A CONFESSSION AND A COMPARISON

A confession is almost always confined to the realm of religion. However not many realize that a confession is in its basic character, an attempt at self-introspection. One tries to understand one’s own actions on the basis of the thought process that guided the actions at the time (what Max Weber called the interpretative understanding in a different context) and also the impressions that registered on the mind as to the nature, purpose and effect of the action on oneself and the others. A confession is a deep intricate analysis of time. You try to simulate a state of mind that was at the time of the actions and yet you are not reliving it either.


Also a lot many people believe a confession is a discrete activity every time it happens. I firmly believe it is a continuous process of self-introspection, contemplation and analysis that drives your perceived value-system and actions.

I present below a confession that Karl Marx made in one of his manuscripts (Source: Eric Fromm’s book:- “Marx’ concept of Man) However it is not a typical confession that people associate with the religious domain. This is what I call the “introspection analysis”, an attempt to define clearly a lot of thought processes and to crystallize firmly held notions that drive human actions. I have also attempted to compare the same metrics to my own analysis and also that of my brother, Saravanan. This was activity we did a couple of years ago. I understand that both myself and my brother have moved along in life gaining more insights and experience and hence a lot more trains of thought, I believe that these measures portrayed below exemplify a basic outlook to life and still form the framework upon which more elements have been added.

The Survival

It was a dark and stormy night when I ventured into the forest. The question had haunted me enough and I could not wait anymore. Dr.Grace was not around when I left else she would not have agreed to it. I did not want that. She can be trusted no doubt, but the moment does not give me the luxury. She is the only one who can save it now. Moreover we had no choice now and I had no time to waste and yet I could not help looking around me.

The Apollo partially lit the northern sector of the forest. I remembered my time in the school. They had taught me Apollo was a mythical Sun God of the Greeks. I did not bother then. The Greeks are geniuses to have named the Sun after Apollo. They had predicted what was to come in the year 2154. Only trouble with earthy knowledge is that on Alpha Centauri, 44 trillion kilometers away, it turns upside down. The Sun rises at night. Having said that, Apollo is a Sun worthy of its Godly name.

There was a stiff breeze blowing across my face. I have always loved that. I walked and the breeze followed me like a pug, hither and thither but all around me. I would not have had this luxury of walking had my brother not been murdered. My brother had the nous to be the best physicist since Something Hawking but he was always clumsy with a pistol. I was the expert shot. My mind went back to that robbery. I looked skywards to pray for my brother. It was a pleasant blue and I felt a few raindrops on my face. I closed my eyes and soaked in the moment. I felt something soft on my hands and arms. I did not want to open my eyes. But the sensation was growing thicker. I opened my eyes and they were all around me, gently rising with the wind and pushing me as though they wanted me to move. I was almost in a trance by then. I moved with their flow and in a few paces was standing before the mighty Tree of Souls. I felt a force hit me and move inside my body from my head to toe. I realized I had the answer to my question. Miles Quaritch had to go. I had to go too but that was insignificant. I rushed back to the unit and to Miles’ quarters. He was snoring. I steadied myself and pulled the trigger. I took his hands and keyed into the server “Emergency, Alpha, Jake wandered and was attacked. I go SOS. Grace will lead if no return”. I went out. It was raining hard. I closed my eyes. Eywa was all around me. “Neytiri, Pandora shall survive” I thought and I jumped into lionia’s den along with Miles’ body. She had been hungry for too long.